How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? |

– Woody Allen
8 quotes

#19

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

Woody Allen

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying !

Woody Allen

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like... making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

Woody Allen

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Woody Allen

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